Full disclosure: Just wanted to make clear that although this post suggests heteronormativity and even feeds a little bit into gender stereotypes, the core ideas here can be applied to a person of any gender and any sexual orientation.

“I don’t mean to brag but…” really means “I am here to brag, but I just want to preface what I’m about to say with being polite.”

So…

I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is damn near-perfect. This article is more or less a list of things that make my boyfriend “damn near-perfect,” and hopefully by sharing this you will be able to be (or find) a perfect boyfriend. And then your life will be complete.

1. Tell your girlfriend you love her, often.

This is of course if you and your girlfriend are at that point where you’re both okay with the L-word. If you are at that point, then don’t hold back! Say it like you mean it, and say it a lot. You can never say it too much. If you feel like you’re S.O. is saying it too much, then maybe you need to work something out in your relationship. Just sayin’.

2. Shower her with hugs and kisses.

One of the most genuine ways to express how you feel about each other is through a nice, warm hug and a gentle (or passionate) kiss on the cheek (or lips). Now I’m not saying you should disregard the social rules on PDA (Public Display of Affection). I’m saying that you should show your girl that you care when and where it’s appropriate.

3. Cuddle.

Again, make sure you keep your PDA rules in check. We don’t want to see you groping the naughty places of your girlfriend at the local mall. When you’re in the appropriate situation (i.e., alone at her/your place), don’t be afraid to get close and nuzzle.

4. Give her small things to do so she can show you she cares.

Every girl wants a guy who can take care of himself, but she also wants a chance to spoil him if even only a little. Let her rub your head when you have a headache, or scratch your back when it itches. Don’t take this one too far though; the last thing you want is for her to think of you as a big baby.

5. Give her thoughtful and meaningful gifts.

When you give her a gift, make sure to make it extra special by putting some time and thought into it. Make sure it’s meaningful to her, make sure that it’s meaningful for you both.

My boyfriend is an awesome gift-giver. Some gift highlights include:

• A scrapbook filled with pictures of the adventures we’ve had together (inspired by the movie “Up”)
• A retelling of my favorite children’s book. He turned Love You Forever by Robert Munsch into a story about our relationship and filled it with pictures of us.
• Mementos from local landmarks. When I was on leave from school for a short time and living back home with my family, he brought me a cup filled with sand from the beach at Santa Monica, a postcard from Venice Beach (with a poem by Pablo Neruda written on it), Carmela ice cream from the Hollywood Farmer’s Market, and a trinket toy from one of the Japanese shops on Sawtelle. He brought Los Angeles to me.

• A blue french horn. We’re gigantic fans of “How I Met Your Mother,” so much so that when we first started dating, a good 75% of our conversations consisted of HIMYM quotes and references. If you watch the pilot of the show, you’ll understand the meaning of the blue french horn.

6. Listen and be there for her.

Okay so this one may seem cliche, but I can’t stress this one enough. Do NOT be quick to offer your girl advice after she tells you a bit about her situation. Most of the time, people just want to vent and let it out without any perceived judgment. Give advice only after you’ve been asked. Simply lending an ear can be extremely valuable for your relationship. This goes for her listening and being there for you as well.

7. Be honest.

There’s really nothing much to add or expand on here. Just be real.

8. Make her feel special.

Your girl may be cool enough to hang with the guys but after all is said and done, your girl IS NOT one of the guys so don’t treat her as such. Your girl may have some really cool (even attractive) girlfriends whom you befriend by association. When you’re around these girls, DO NOT treat your girlfriend the same way you treat them. She’s not one of the guys, she’s not just any girl, she’s YOUR GIRLFRIEND. If she’s supposed to be one of the most important people in your life, show her.

9. Cast a magic spell on your girlfriend to make her think you are perfect.

I asked my boyfriend directly about how to be the perfect boyfriend and he told me about this magic spell. I don’t know the name of this spell because when I asked, he said that if he told me, it would break the spell. I don’t know if there’s any truth to this, but whenever I tell him that I think he’s awesome he responds, “Yes! My trick is working!”

10. Don’t poke your girlfriend’s tummy.

She’s very self-conscious about her weight, especially belly fat. She may even be ticklish. Just don’t do it.

Of course perfection is in the eye of the beholder. So what are your thoughts on having (or being) the perfect boyfriend? Any qualities or characteristics you’d like to add?