Online vs Offline personas: Should it matter anymore?
I mentioned in a previous post about some conversations I’ve been having with people about online and offline personas, specifically how much of what you do or who you are offline should you put online. Here are some of my findings:
Some people I know personally who use social networks like Twitter and Facebook for personal use responded to the question I posed. One person said that they try to make their online personas very different from their offline selves by using usernames that don’t have their real name in it.
Another response was that we realistically don’t have a chance to distinguish online and offline personas with such sites as Facebook and Twitter. It’s all the same; the way we use new technology is making our lives more and more transparent to the world.
Another person said that it’s akin to the various identities or personalities we maintain, such as interacting with a boss as opposed to interacting with a significant other. Many aspects of ourselves overlap, but other times we need to be cautious of the things we share with certain people.
I also got to discuss this topic with some people I know who are active bloggers and have some experience with social media and how it all works. One blogger responded that you should only share 10% of what you do offline with people online. Someone else said that it depends on how comfortable you are to share things you experience and what your goals are for sharing. If you’re geared towards marketing and driving traffic, then you do what it takes to make your posts interesting. In short, put online as much as you want to.
Authenticity or Privacy?
I think what it all boils down to is whether to withhold things about yourself to maintain a sense of privacy, or allowing yourself to be open and show your authenticity.
On one hand, you want to be able to share your experiences willingly, so that others can learn from them. Being open allows for a genuine connection with your audience and your readers. On the other hand, revealing a lot about yourself makes you vulnerable to criticism, and as a woman blogger there is the serious threat of stalking.
So you can limit your posts to being ’strictly professional’ focusing on a certain topic that you can distance your private self from, but by doing that you risk losing credibility in a lack of authenticity.
My Personal Concerns for Airing My Sh*t Online:
- Some stuff is just way too personal for me to be completely comfortable sharing, but that stuff is an essential part of my personality and my life experience.
- It’s the Internet. This written stuff can exist beyond me. I fear caches.
- My parents/friends/relatives/future bosses/homies are probably gonna flip when they read my stuff.
- What I share can be considered ‘TMI,’ for even my real life acquaintances; why put it online for the whole world to see?
- I don’t really want to hold myself accountable for my own opinions because they may change. Who wants to be known as a hypocrite? Not me.
- I might grow into a ‘personal brand’ that only shows one aspect of who I am or my interests.
These are just some things I’ve been thinking about lately. Feel free to chime in with your own experiences.
On my blog, I open up a bit more than I have offline. Maybe because I still see it as a private journal, with maybe a couple of readers. But one of my goals is to also become more open in general. So if any one of my offline aquaintances happens upon my blog and they’re all shocked to read somethings, well, let’s consider it a growth experience. A level up in courage. Can we call it passively conquering your fears? Because at a degree, fear of transparency is like a fear of acceptance.
We might talk about taboo topics online: the wild sex we wish to experience, the money that we DID steal out of mom’s purse that one time, and how it wasn’t our little brother. And mom, or our future employers, friends or whoever might read it. AAAAAGGGGGH!!!
But let’s look at the bright side. Those fears are now gone. Authenticity has shone its light and guilt is no longer eating away at us. Mom forgives the little brother, you get your deserved punishment, and you may find someone to fufill your wildest fantasies.
I might rant about how I don’t like this and that and I’m this type of person, which may turn some people off, but if it does, we were never good matches anyone. I now have that freedom, I don’t have to concern myself with hiding these things anymore, they’re out there.
It is uncomfortable sharing some things. But all of that stuff is us. The good parts, the bad parts, the weird, the freaky and locked away in the closet, it’s all part of who we are. Maybe society has us all conforming to this idealistic persona or something. When we state who we are, we also say the good, that’s all they want to hear. But I admire people more, when tell me the bad too, it’s too taboo and unspoken of.
I don’t know about you but although it is hard to be comfortable sharing some things with people, it’s even harder to be completely comfortable with myself knowing I’m not being my 100%. I feel all tense and stuff, all restricted.
As for opinions. I feel the same way. Because we change and grow. We learn. In a way, I feel like we’re all hypocrites at some point. I’ll tell my little brothers and sisters not to do something that I did when I was their age. I get mad, I criticize them, but I did it too. So how to we teach from our mistakes without being hypocrites? I say you shouldn’t steal, you should try and work with mom because she only wants the best for you and I shake my head. At their age I was just as rebellious though, so who am I criticizing. There’s always that 180 turn in life. It’s like a point of awareness. We were headed on path and then we go in the complete direction. The criticism always comes, internal or externally. You may be moving on from your former friends, decide to change your career, etc.
If you made it this far, I’m sorry Dariane for writing such a long ass comment. You brought up some thought-provoking questions and I don’t know how to shut up or say, “nice post.” I’ve got to take some tips from Carlos on being concise and to the point.
Hey Robert, thanks for your (as-long-as-if-not-longer-than-my-post) comment!
When it comes to sharing things with people, I tend to be more comfortable just keeping my mouth shut rather than making myself vulnerable. There have been times in my life where I trusted someone with my raw emotions and information about my life, and that trust was broken when they told someone else. That stuff hurts.
Another thing is if someone tells me something in confidence (without me knowing the info is a secret), or shares a unique experience with me and I write about it for the world to see, that person would feel like their privacy is breached. I wouldn’t want to be on that end of the trust-breaking either.
I’ve been thinking a lot about these issues lately.
It seems we’re entering a new era history where we are all now famous. No more fifteen minutes of fame. We are all famous forever. These growing pains are what new stars must go through when becoming famous.
Our online self brands are an extension of our real worlds selves, one in the same really. Luckily as we are all learning to accept the more personal sides of each other while maintaining a level of respect. We are all discovering that our brothers and sisters are just like ourselves. We humans are also good at reinventing ourselves and online social mistakes seem to be easily forgiven.
We are also learning from each other at an execrated rate. Historically, roads built between two societies spawned cultural and economic booms. Today’s internet has enable new “roads” connecting each an every human on earth. Whether we share our personal secrets, opinions, ideas, or drunken party pics, we will be adding value to humanity.
In stead of “worrying” what our neighbor thinks, we are now “valuing” what each other thinks.
Thanks for the comment Ben!
I agree that all this online social stuff is enabling all of us who are involved to learn more about each other, to be more accepting, and to value what people think. Or at least this is what I hope is happening! :]